Thoughts of mortality sting my heart by night. I lie in bed and stare into the darkness of my room. The problems of another day have passed, yet I remain troubled by the transitory nature of it all. We named it time and it destroyed us. As sure as your heart will fail you, this world will falter, be it by the hands of man or the hands of time. Billions before me, billions after, and every song ever sung will be forgotten in the vacuum of space and time will cease. I have watched my hands grow old. My hands were once smooth and strong; jagged scars and painful joints now remind me of my past and future. I am broken.
I wonder where my piece of cold earth waits. Have I walked among my kin? Have I passed by, oblivious? No, I do not enjoy this illusion. Death has been with me always: on the playground as a child, in my reflection as a teen, watching from the office as I work, and sitting beside me while I pray. As I frolicked and played, I suffered deep sorrow and regret. I have seen the future and it haunts me. Mankind haunts me. As a ten year old, playing in the school yard, I saw myself at age 20, 30, 50, and beyond. I witnessed my own death and stood among my mourners until they too had passed. The stained lining of my casket gave away, the ground reclaimed my tomb, and the world went black. And from above I felt the power of God.
Thursday, November 29, 2007
Friday, November 16, 2007
Parking Meter
This parking meter represents another step toward a fully automated society and the destruction of the human race. If they (the Government, corporations, etc.) can replace you with a machine, they will.
It started a long time ago in the manufacturing industry, people were replaced by machines. Make no mistake: corporations only care about their bottom line. They don’t care about the individuals who work for them and they don’t care about the economy as a whole, unless the economic tide affects them directly. Some corporations claim they care about keeping products affordable for their customers. That’s almost as sick as the advertisements they cram into your brain every day. When was the last time you noticed prices going down or even staying the same? They try to blame higher prices on inflation, overhead, “quality control”, or whatever, but the truth is, prices go up because of greed, greed on the part of corporations, and greed on the part of consumers. The consumer always gets screwed; if you’ve ever bought anything, you know this by now. 10% of the population controls 90% of the money. You and I are glorified slaves. My real concern, regarding what I call The Robotic Revolution, is not money.
People are quite egotistical to start with. Many people think they are always right and believe they are better than everyone else. People are also incredibly entitled. Where do these gross miscalculations of importance originate from? I can’t say for sure, but I do know that I see it every single day. People walk it, drive it, talk it, and show it in their actions. If accused, some would deny any feelings of superiority, because it goes against their overblown self image. Most people don’t even care. And that’s where my real concern is. Automation eliminates human contact and interaction. It promotes self-indulgence and nurtures self-centeredness. Automation leads to demoralization, lack of values, and lack of social imagination. We will end up with entire generations who don’t know how to relate. Maybe they are already here. I believe this is only the beginning. Don’t be fooled by advances in electronic communications. Text messaging and social networking websites don’t exactly fill the void, they replace it with a cheap imitation.
So, excuse me if I don’t feel like using my credit card at a parking meter and then receiving a text message when my time is running out. The trouble is, someday I will be forced to use it. Just like how I’ve been forced to use the self check-out at Home Depot. Am I the only one who thinks having a robotic camera take pictures of my license plate when the time runs out on my parking meter is not right? Where’s the life in that? What about the part where you see the meter-maid, sprint toward the car, and hope you get there first. What about the personal interaction, where you try to talk yourself out of the ticket. What about the simple thrill of being able to park illegally and hopping you don’t get caught? Where do these learning experiences go when an automatic parking meter is installed?
The solution for illegal immigrants is not to build a wall. The solution for teen pregnancy is not to hand out contraceptives at school. The solution for stopping crime is not to add more police. These are merely reactions to existing problems. This world’s solutions start with you, by how you act, how you relate, and how you raise your kids.
Honestly, I believe it is too late. I believe the world will continue to spin out of control until the day it is destroyed. I will not go down without a fight. I will not bend to the ways of a broken planet. Others will continue to live however they choose. I truly believe they will get what they deserve- Garbage in, garbage out.
Next time you use a self check-out, pay at the pump, use the ATM, send a text message, or even park your car in Vancouver, remember the price you are paying for your added convenience.
Thursday, November 8, 2007
The Pain of Love
I recently left a comment on a friend’s blog. She says she’s in love. I warned her regarding the “gut-wrenching pain” that goes along with love. She asked me to elaborate. And so…
I’ve been in love with the same girl since the age of 14, in 1993. We’ve been a couple for 11 years and married for… 8 of those years. Our anniversary is today oddly enough. As for the gut-wrenching pain; Love, all by itself, is very simple and wonderful; Being “in love” is a much more complicated state. Staying in love is an active process, or to put it plainly, it takes a lot of work- and not the starry-eyed, music-in-the-background work; No, it’s the old fashion kind- hard and sometimes painful. When you are in love with someone, you must realize the risks you are agreeing to. Some of the potential causes for pain are merely possibilities, others are almost guaranteed, and one is inevitable. Not all of these lead to a break up. Experiencing pain in a relationship is not a maybe. It will happen. Sometimes you will feel as if there is no hope. Sometimes there really is no hope and it ends, but other times, it is just a feeling that passes.
Here are just 15 of the potential causes for pain when dealing with love. All of these categories have very intricate frameworks. Each person attaches his or her own meanings and emotions to all of life’s dealings. Every person is unique, every couple is unique, and time constantly changes everything. Similar events at different times create unique actions and reactions.
1. Cheating
Old school, but it still hurts like hell. People have written books about each of these topics, so my short blurbs are only a taste. Cheating is usually a symptom of a larger problem, or a problem that was not addressed in time. Unresolved problems grow into a larger problems, and thus… the pain. The pain from cheating is multifaceted. The cheater is often riddled with guilt, the partner is wracked with insecurity and the other party is left cold. There are many more possible outcomes of course, but all lead to pain for everyone. In cases where breaking up is the best solution, cheating can eventually lead to a positive resolution for one or more members. It is important to remember that cheating does not always refer to an outside relationship with a person. Cheating is one of many ways to achieve deception. Some people have affairs with other people; some have affairs with alcohol, drugs, gambling, eating, shopping, money, or any other activity that results in lying.
2. Growing apart
Life changes all the time and people change with it. Chances are, the person you fell in love with possesses certain traits that are different from your own, and this factored into why you fell in love with them in the first place. When you first meet someone and fall in love, there are typically many common bonds: You go to the same school, you have the same classes, you work together, or you live near one another. You share the same interests, like the same music, and enjoy the same leisure activities. In addition to these factors, chances are, you probably found each other physically attractive. If your relationship is going to last beyond the time that these factors change, (school ends, you move, you acquire new hobbies, you age) the maintenance process must begin and continue. You’ve probably heard people say something like, “Love isn’t all rainbows and butterflies.” They say things like that, because real love takes real work and real work isn’t fun. At the very core of a loving relationship is the most powerful, indescribable force known to man, yet it is not enough to simply have love or be in love. To make it work, you must take deliberate actions to stay connected with each other and find common interests and activities. Someday you will run out of stories to tell, and then it’s up to you to make new memories. This may seem obvious, but life has a way of pulling people apart. Love is magical and mystifying, but it is only the source of the power behind a successful relationship. It is the responsibility of the people involved to stay connected and not grow apart. Have you ever heard a divorced couple state that they will always care for the other one, but it just didn’t work? The love is still there; the source of the power remains. If love is real love, it does not end. It can change from being in love to simply loving, but it can not be destroyed. If you’re wondering if you were really in love with someone from your past, you only need ask yourself if you still are and that will answer your question.
3. Growing bored
Growing bored is almost the opposite of growing apart. Growing bored happens when people don’t grow apart enough. Growing bored is also commonly called a “rut”. The relationship becomes routine and mechanical. Even sex can become routine. You get to know the other person so well, that it seems nothing new is happening; thus, there is nothing to talk about, and bad things start to happen when couples stop communicating. Undeclared emotions tend to fester and grow out of control. It is vital that each person retains their own individually and has extra curricular activities outside of the relationship. It is a balancing act between growing apart and growing bored. Nothing is perfect, and these two factors will emerge many times over the course of a long term relationship.
4. Unity
A long term relationship is a business. It’s an emotional, social, and economic partnership. Unity is extremely important. Abraham Lincoln once said, “A house divided against itself cannot stand.” He couldn’t have been more right. Life is all about survival. You have no chance of surviving if you and your partner are not united. This does not mean that you must agree on everything, that’s silly, but when life throws shit your way (and it will), you’d better be on the same page. This topic is especially relevant when you have kids. Like most things, this is not a static process and will require continual maintenance. This topic is huge, but I’ll keep it short. There is no room for self-righteous power trips in a successful relationship. Sometimes it’s better to be united, even if what ever it is doesn’t work, because the power of two is always greater one. Each person will have to give in and join the other side for the greater good every now and then. There will be cases where you go and do your own thing, against your partner’s wishes and everything turns out great, but this can lead to animosity in the other person. You need to ask yourself what you’re really working towards. Sometimes it’s better to fail together than be successful apart. No goal should overshadow the foundation on which it’s built.
5. Kids
There are two types of people on this planet; people who have kids and people who don’t. People who don’t have kids are unable to understand all the ramifications of having children. It’s a little like trying to talk to a teenager about “real life”. No offence intended to people without kids, I was one once… although I don’t remember it. Having children is a double-edged sword. Having kids will bring you to places you didn’t know existed, both good and bad. Raising kids and having kids are two different things by the way. Anyone can have a kid or make a baby (look around, they’re everywhere). Raising kids will test even the most rock-solid of relationships; it changes so much, so fast. Life before kids is so different than life after kids that many people can’t take it. Sometimes it only takes a year, sometimes it takes years and years, but eventually many couples fail because they failed to adjust. Many people simply don’t know what they’re getting into, but once you’re there, you don’t have much choice. The potential for pain while raising kids is almost a guarantee.
6. Breaking up
Unless you stay with the person you’re with right now until one of you dies, there will be a break up. I don’t think I need to say anymore about this. Break-ups are painful. Someone who once ranked very high in your psyche falls from grace, and vice versa. Feelings of failure, embarrassment, fear, and many more, are not fun. Also, there can be financial, housing, and social problems associated with a break up.
7. Divorce
Divorce differs from a simple break-up. Divorce is a legal process for one thing. It can also lead to more pain than a break up, because there was a formal, public agreement that you would stay with this person forever. Money is painful all the time, but during a divorce, former lovers can become excessively cruel and greedy. And then there are the kids again. Custody battles are painful. All the same painful feelings of a normal break up cut deeper because the commitment was deeper.
8. In-laws
When you agree to be emotionally hitched, you also agree to be connected with your partner’s friends and family. You already have your own crazy family, and now you have theirs as well! That’s twice as many people to commit to for social occasions, twice as many people to deal with on a regular basis, twice as many people who have twice as many problems and concerns. What were once only your partner’s problems are now yours too: family drama, family tragedy, illnesses, birthdays, economic needs. Not all of this is bad, but there is inherently more potential for different kinds of pain when more people are involved.
9. Money
Need I say more? Unless you’re “well off,” money will be a major factor once your finances become joined. Usually the issue is that there isn’t enough of it, but there are many other ways money can become a source of pain. Again, I don’t feel I need to elaborate on this topic. Money = pain. The trick to solving this issue is to take the power away from the money. Money itself is practically nothing; the beliefs people have about money is what causes the problems.
11. Work
Again, unless you’re well off, you will spend a large amount of time and energy at work. Depending on what you do for work, there are several different ways work leads to pain in a relationship. Scheduling is one of them. How often do you see each other? Are you spending enough time with the kids? Are you taking care of your household responsibilities? Are you making enough money? Who makes more? Who pays what? Who manages the income, and are they doing it correctly? Work is closely related to money, but it is also closely connected to growing apart, cheating, and unity. Work can become a monster problem in several different ways. For example, if you hate your job, you might always be frustrated and angry at home, or on the other hand, if you love your job and find it rewarding, you might spend too much time at it and lose touch with your partner. “Juggling” is probably more accurate than “balancing”. The important thing to remember is that love should not be in the mix of things you are juggling; love should be the force behind why you are juggling.
12. Illness
The person you fell in love with may not always be exactly the same as you knew them and/or you may not be. Accidents and illness are probably second, only to kids, in testing a relationship. When you emotionally bond yourself to another person, you are taking great risks. Their pain becomes your pain and vice versa. Are you ready to see your partner broken and sick? Would you love them the same? None of us are really ready. We don’t expect to get cancer or become mutilated in a car crash, but these things happen, and it might not always be someone else they happen to.
13. Sex
Chances are, you find your mate attractive, and at some point will have sex with him or her. Thanks to the media, which represents the average stupid person, we are saturated with sexual content. Commercialized and exploited sex is not the type of sex I’m talking about; that’s the kind of sex horny teenagers have. Anyone can do that. I’m referring to the ongoing sexual relationship between committed couples. It’s much different, and better I might add. The sexual relationship changes and grows along with the couple; however, if the relationship is not progressing, neither does the sex life, which can lead to a whole gamut of problems. The act of sex is simple. Sex in a long term relationship is not. Again, all of these factors are closely related and do not stand alone. All of these potential sources of pain interact and create countless actions and reactions.
14. Religion (faith)
My views on this topic are, what the typical person would call, too bias, because I am a Christian and have my own beliefs on this subject. All I can tell you is that the Bible, in 2 Corinthians 6:14, says believers and unbelievers should not get married. For the sake of a relationship, I think people should at least match up with someone who shares the same beliefs, even if the beliefs are, what I would consider, incorrect. Be prepared for your partner or yourself to change spiritually over the years. Sometimes these changes are easy and sometimes they are painful.
15. Death
Pain will come one way or another. In the words of Billy Corgan, “And great lovers will one day have to part.” The point of this piece of writing is not to avoid the pain, but to expect it and accept it.
I’ve been in love with the same girl since the age of 14, in 1993. We’ve been a couple for 11 years and married for… 8 of those years. Our anniversary is today oddly enough. As for the gut-wrenching pain; Love, all by itself, is very simple and wonderful; Being “in love” is a much more complicated state. Staying in love is an active process, or to put it plainly, it takes a lot of work- and not the starry-eyed, music-in-the-background work; No, it’s the old fashion kind- hard and sometimes painful. When you are in love with someone, you must realize the risks you are agreeing to. Some of the potential causes for pain are merely possibilities, others are almost guaranteed, and one is inevitable. Not all of these lead to a break up. Experiencing pain in a relationship is not a maybe. It will happen. Sometimes you will feel as if there is no hope. Sometimes there really is no hope and it ends, but other times, it is just a feeling that passes.
Here are just 15 of the potential causes for pain when dealing with love. All of these categories have very intricate frameworks. Each person attaches his or her own meanings and emotions to all of life’s dealings. Every person is unique, every couple is unique, and time constantly changes everything. Similar events at different times create unique actions and reactions.
1. Cheating
Old school, but it still hurts like hell. People have written books about each of these topics, so my short blurbs are only a taste. Cheating is usually a symptom of a larger problem, or a problem that was not addressed in time. Unresolved problems grow into a larger problems, and thus… the pain. The pain from cheating is multifaceted. The cheater is often riddled with guilt, the partner is wracked with insecurity and the other party is left cold. There are many more possible outcomes of course, but all lead to pain for everyone. In cases where breaking up is the best solution, cheating can eventually lead to a positive resolution for one or more members. It is important to remember that cheating does not always refer to an outside relationship with a person. Cheating is one of many ways to achieve deception. Some people have affairs with other people; some have affairs with alcohol, drugs, gambling, eating, shopping, money, or any other activity that results in lying.
2. Growing apart
Life changes all the time and people change with it. Chances are, the person you fell in love with possesses certain traits that are different from your own, and this factored into why you fell in love with them in the first place. When you first meet someone and fall in love, there are typically many common bonds: You go to the same school, you have the same classes, you work together, or you live near one another. You share the same interests, like the same music, and enjoy the same leisure activities. In addition to these factors, chances are, you probably found each other physically attractive. If your relationship is going to last beyond the time that these factors change, (school ends, you move, you acquire new hobbies, you age) the maintenance process must begin and continue. You’ve probably heard people say something like, “Love isn’t all rainbows and butterflies.” They say things like that, because real love takes real work and real work isn’t fun. At the very core of a loving relationship is the most powerful, indescribable force known to man, yet it is not enough to simply have love or be in love. To make it work, you must take deliberate actions to stay connected with each other and find common interests and activities. Someday you will run out of stories to tell, and then it’s up to you to make new memories. This may seem obvious, but life has a way of pulling people apart. Love is magical and mystifying, but it is only the source of the power behind a successful relationship. It is the responsibility of the people involved to stay connected and not grow apart. Have you ever heard a divorced couple state that they will always care for the other one, but it just didn’t work? The love is still there; the source of the power remains. If love is real love, it does not end. It can change from being in love to simply loving, but it can not be destroyed. If you’re wondering if you were really in love with someone from your past, you only need ask yourself if you still are and that will answer your question.
3. Growing bored
Growing bored is almost the opposite of growing apart. Growing bored happens when people don’t grow apart enough. Growing bored is also commonly called a “rut”. The relationship becomes routine and mechanical. Even sex can become routine. You get to know the other person so well, that it seems nothing new is happening; thus, there is nothing to talk about, and bad things start to happen when couples stop communicating. Undeclared emotions tend to fester and grow out of control. It is vital that each person retains their own individually and has extra curricular activities outside of the relationship. It is a balancing act between growing apart and growing bored. Nothing is perfect, and these two factors will emerge many times over the course of a long term relationship.
4. Unity
A long term relationship is a business. It’s an emotional, social, and economic partnership. Unity is extremely important. Abraham Lincoln once said, “A house divided against itself cannot stand.” He couldn’t have been more right. Life is all about survival. You have no chance of surviving if you and your partner are not united. This does not mean that you must agree on everything, that’s silly, but when life throws shit your way (and it will), you’d better be on the same page. This topic is especially relevant when you have kids. Like most things, this is not a static process and will require continual maintenance. This topic is huge, but I’ll keep it short. There is no room for self-righteous power trips in a successful relationship. Sometimes it’s better to be united, even if what ever it is doesn’t work, because the power of two is always greater one. Each person will have to give in and join the other side for the greater good every now and then. There will be cases where you go and do your own thing, against your partner’s wishes and everything turns out great, but this can lead to animosity in the other person. You need to ask yourself what you’re really working towards. Sometimes it’s better to fail together than be successful apart. No goal should overshadow the foundation on which it’s built.
5. Kids
There are two types of people on this planet; people who have kids and people who don’t. People who don’t have kids are unable to understand all the ramifications of having children. It’s a little like trying to talk to a teenager about “real life”. No offence intended to people without kids, I was one once… although I don’t remember it. Having children is a double-edged sword. Having kids will bring you to places you didn’t know existed, both good and bad. Raising kids and having kids are two different things by the way. Anyone can have a kid or make a baby (look around, they’re everywhere). Raising kids will test even the most rock-solid of relationships; it changes so much, so fast. Life before kids is so different than life after kids that many people can’t take it. Sometimes it only takes a year, sometimes it takes years and years, but eventually many couples fail because they failed to adjust. Many people simply don’t know what they’re getting into, but once you’re there, you don’t have much choice. The potential for pain while raising kids is almost a guarantee.
6. Breaking up
Unless you stay with the person you’re with right now until one of you dies, there will be a break up. I don’t think I need to say anymore about this. Break-ups are painful. Someone who once ranked very high in your psyche falls from grace, and vice versa. Feelings of failure, embarrassment, fear, and many more, are not fun. Also, there can be financial, housing, and social problems associated with a break up.
7. Divorce
Divorce differs from a simple break-up. Divorce is a legal process for one thing. It can also lead to more pain than a break up, because there was a formal, public agreement that you would stay with this person forever. Money is painful all the time, but during a divorce, former lovers can become excessively cruel and greedy. And then there are the kids again. Custody battles are painful. All the same painful feelings of a normal break up cut deeper because the commitment was deeper.
8. In-laws
When you agree to be emotionally hitched, you also agree to be connected with your partner’s friends and family. You already have your own crazy family, and now you have theirs as well! That’s twice as many people to commit to for social occasions, twice as many people to deal with on a regular basis, twice as many people who have twice as many problems and concerns. What were once only your partner’s problems are now yours too: family drama, family tragedy, illnesses, birthdays, economic needs. Not all of this is bad, but there is inherently more potential for different kinds of pain when more people are involved.
9. Money
Need I say more? Unless you’re “well off,” money will be a major factor once your finances become joined. Usually the issue is that there isn’t enough of it, but there are many other ways money can become a source of pain. Again, I don’t feel I need to elaborate on this topic. Money = pain. The trick to solving this issue is to take the power away from the money. Money itself is practically nothing; the beliefs people have about money is what causes the problems.
11. Work
Again, unless you’re well off, you will spend a large amount of time and energy at work. Depending on what you do for work, there are several different ways work leads to pain in a relationship. Scheduling is one of them. How often do you see each other? Are you spending enough time with the kids? Are you taking care of your household responsibilities? Are you making enough money? Who makes more? Who pays what? Who manages the income, and are they doing it correctly? Work is closely related to money, but it is also closely connected to growing apart, cheating, and unity. Work can become a monster problem in several different ways. For example, if you hate your job, you might always be frustrated and angry at home, or on the other hand, if you love your job and find it rewarding, you might spend too much time at it and lose touch with your partner. “Juggling” is probably more accurate than “balancing”. The important thing to remember is that love should not be in the mix of things you are juggling; love should be the force behind why you are juggling.
12. Illness
The person you fell in love with may not always be exactly the same as you knew them and/or you may not be. Accidents and illness are probably second, only to kids, in testing a relationship. When you emotionally bond yourself to another person, you are taking great risks. Their pain becomes your pain and vice versa. Are you ready to see your partner broken and sick? Would you love them the same? None of us are really ready. We don’t expect to get cancer or become mutilated in a car crash, but these things happen, and it might not always be someone else they happen to.
13. Sex
Chances are, you find your mate attractive, and at some point will have sex with him or her. Thanks to the media, which represents the average stupid person, we are saturated with sexual content. Commercialized and exploited sex is not the type of sex I’m talking about; that’s the kind of sex horny teenagers have. Anyone can do that. I’m referring to the ongoing sexual relationship between committed couples. It’s much different, and better I might add. The sexual relationship changes and grows along with the couple; however, if the relationship is not progressing, neither does the sex life, which can lead to a whole gamut of problems. The act of sex is simple. Sex in a long term relationship is not. Again, all of these factors are closely related and do not stand alone. All of these potential sources of pain interact and create countless actions and reactions.
14. Religion (faith)
My views on this topic are, what the typical person would call, too bias, because I am a Christian and have my own beliefs on this subject. All I can tell you is that the Bible, in 2 Corinthians 6:14, says believers and unbelievers should not get married. For the sake of a relationship, I think people should at least match up with someone who shares the same beliefs, even if the beliefs are, what I would consider, incorrect. Be prepared for your partner or yourself to change spiritually over the years. Sometimes these changes are easy and sometimes they are painful.
15. Death
Pain will come one way or another. In the words of Billy Corgan, “And great lovers will one day have to part.” The point of this piece of writing is not to avoid the pain, but to expect it and accept it.
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