Pet Peeves

not checked for typos yet

It’s snowed about a foot in the last day and I’m stuck inside with nothing to do. I killed some time by fixing my resume and cover letter for a job I’m applying for and then I browsed my friends’ profiles at myspace. That got boring, so now I’m listening to music and typing. I have a video game to play, but I did that already. I should be working on the book I’m writing; I should be doing a lot of things I guess. Today was a good snow day though. My snow tires work well. Now I can get going but I can’t stop, because I need brakes. There’s always something. I’ve been smoke free for just over 2 weeks and haven’t eaten meat for about the same time. Calculating the difference between the time I quit smoking and the time I stopped eating meat is getting really annoying, so from now on I’m going to say I did it at the same time; so, I’ve been smoke and meat free for two weeks. Anyway, I feel great. I’m finally able to really relax and it feels good. I don’t mean “finally” because I haven’t been able to relax since I quit. I haven’t really relaxed since I became a smoker (1995) because there is always the underlying internal clock that defines time by ability to smoke. It's actually very sad and I feel stupid for smoking as long as I did. I very very rarely feel stupid. I have few regrets, but smoking is definitely one of them. So far… I think I probably have about 5 regrets. If I continue at this rate and live to 100, that’s less than 20 for a whole lifetime. Most of my regrets turned out to be milestones or at least learning experiences, so in the end, I have even fewer major regrets… smoking may turn out to be on that list as well though. I thought it would be fun to make a list of pet peeves. Anyone who knows me at all knows I don’t like much of anything. On the other hand, I am passionate about the things I do like. I have a sort of all-or-nothing personality I suppose.

Just some of my pet peeves in no particular order

Cream cheese packaging: seriously, is it really necessary that it be so complicated?

“Gangster” rap: What the hell is wrong with you? It’s so stupid, all of it.

Spare tires: Why can’t they all just be full size? And why do I need an aerospace degree to figure out how to get at it?

Racism: from both sides, all sides, whatever. Get over it you losers.

Double-sided sticky tape: tape just wasn’t meant to be sticky on both sides and then it never sticks right anyway!

Prepaying for gas: Just put an “in” before “convenience store” and get it over with, you ass holes. I wasn’t the one who stole your precious gas. You should have enough money to cover it since you’ve been gouging me for years.

Rich people: fuck you and fuck your fucking problems

Junk mail: I’d like to think everyone throws it away without reading it, but someone must do it. Do the world a favor and read the glossy rifle ad and slip into a deep depression.

People who ride motorcycles without helmets: yeah, you look really cool. Tell me all about that personal preference thing… once you learn how to speak again. I worked with a patient who thought it was cool to ride without one. He could tell you why you shouldn’t, but wait… he died after suffering for months with traumatic brain damage which caused him to become paranoid and delusional.

Drunk drivers: you wont have to worry about jail time if you kill someone I love, because I’ll kill you

Advertisements: Especially television and radio. I don’t think any ad that has 30 seconds of fast-spoken disclaimers and warnings should be allowed. Who is buying all this shit? And with what money? Get a grip America. You may want to send your kids to school or even retire. Stop buying shit you don’t need. Advertisements are just pretty lies for shitty products with miserable services.

People who don’t listen: what makes you think it’s ok to talk so much? Shut up. Please!! Shut up.

Cocky bicyclists: Don’t think you can hog half the friggin’ lane and then NOT stop at the red light. You can’t have it both ways!! Either you’re pretending to be a car or you're not!! And take off that ridiculous lycra, you're not in the tour da france.

Censorship: People have the right to be really really stupid and to try to spread their really really stupid thoughts and ideas. If God gave us freewill, I don’t think it’s fair for the Government (or sexually repressed housewives with nothing better to do) to take it away. The shame should not be on the sender, but on the people who are receiving it. There would be no supply if there wasn’t a demand. Hypocrites.

Teenage drivers: You suck; you might think you don’t, but I bet you think a lot of things don’t you? Superficial, rubber necking, egotistical, morons. You and your loser generation are the only ones who think you’re cool. I will run you off the fucking road.

DVDs: I can’t remember a time when had to stop a VHS movie and interrupt the movie because of a flaw in the VHS cassette. DVDs are a corporate ploy so people will have to rebuy more frequently. Letterbox: WHY? I don’t give a shit if the movie is in its original aspect ratio!! I can barely see it now anyway. Why do some movies offer full screen and some don’t. Is it really that difficult?

Cell phones: Just stop. It’s getting ridiculous. It’s just an extension of your obnoxious personality.

Cars: Your car payment is how much? And NOBODY cares except you. Isn’t that cool?

Generation “Loser”: Prove me wrong kids. For the future of this country and the world, prove me wrong.

American values: It would almost be funny if it weren’t so sickening. Drugged up clowns with no deeper thought than their pockets, which they borrowed (with interest), from the unstoppable machine of broken finance, built in a sand pit of lies and images of ideals that don’t even exist!! Too ashamed or tricked to admit it’s too late. It’s too fucked up to fix; not that anyone will bother to fix it anyway, because they’re too busy perfecting their own private lies. The solution: blame it on the war, blame it on Bush, blame it on something that can’t be proven so there will always be a chance it’s not our fault we committed suicide.

Easy-open cans: was it really that much work to use a can opener?

Automated customer service: What a joke. I’d like to speak to a human, and can you at least speak my language please?

Current industry: You took my job and money away and now you expect me to find a way to buy your products and invest in your stock? That system is fatally flawed. I’m left to serve in an informational capacity. When times get rough, the products that really matter are the ones that actually exist!! How’s that for some information?!

Guns for protection: You’re not Rambo. If your gun is locked up properly, it will not do any good against intruders anyway. There are plenty non-lethal protection devices. Each year, over 200 kids (under age 18) are killed unintentionally by guns. If you own a gun for protection, you might as well walk into your local school and blow away someone’s son or daughter, because that’s what you’re doing.

People who start calling me by name before they really know me: It doesn’t make you seem more personable, it’s just creepy.

Lack of perspective: Where do you get off thinking you’ve got it so bad? I’m sick of all the moaning. We all bitch and complain sometimes, which is completely understandable, but some people have such a limited perspective, which doesn’t seem to extend any further than their mirror. I’ve meet some people who have something to bitch about and they weren’t you. And what makes you think you’re better? Your what? Untouchable? Invincable? It could be you. It could be you tomorrow, so suspend your judgment long enough to find out.

Legislated values: First of all, this problem steams from the fact that the only people stupid and boring enough to care about creating ridiculous legislation are uptight, pompous, windbags with nothing better to do. Daddy actually worked to make the money; you just know how to play with it. And play they do. I was floored the other day when I read a proposal to ban smoking in private vehicles when kids are in the car. I shouldn’t have to type this next part, but I stopped assuming people were smart a long time ago: smoking in the car with kids is not smart or good, or healthy, or any of that. One could argue that it is morally wrong to expose your kids to the harmful toxins in secondhand smoke and I would agree. HOWEVER; we can not allow the government and law enforcement to become the guardians of private moral and ethical issues. Public health is one thing. The public domain is created and controlled by laws and politics. People’s private lives must remain their own. The freedom we enjoy in America allows for stupidity, mistakes, and downright wrongdoing. You have the right to do the wrong thing and choose to ruin your kid’s lungs. Maybe that kid will go on to become a smoker or maybe he’ll go on to become a strong anti-smoking advocate. Either way, we must protect our right to create our own future. It should not be molded by authority figures. This isn’t Russia. People can not be forced into morality. Cart. Horse. Get it right America.