So many windows: hundreds, thousands perhaps, each with its own version of the blistering sun. Cheap facsimiles are all too common in a world content with producing pop stars like automobiles. Purposeful strides and the clicking of heals.
Motion-censored revolving doors churned with ease; more for show than anything else. My attire drew more than a few looks. Maybe I was an extravagant trust fund baby or a rock star. Beautifully empty. Years of planning, millions of dollars, and still hollow. Marble, gold, and uniforms accented the cold interior.
Somewhere, high above, huge machines labored tirelessly to produce the comfortable atmosphere. Too entitled to notice the conveniences and indulgencies they enjoy, everyone found something to complain about. Hypocrites overcrowded the elevator. I took the stairs. In a society strictly opposed to exercise and hard work, the stairwell lacked luster yet produced desirable results.
Long corridors stretched the top floor. Each door exactly like the one before. Over and over and over. All under one roof and still so alone.
Bursting into a run, I sprinted down the hall. Light poured in through huge windows at either end of the hallway. Is this what people were fighting for? My strides quickened and I ran with everything. I leaped forward into glass, and one cheap facsimile burst in to a thousand shards of reality.
Gravity jerked me downward. I imagined the crowds below, what they must think, if they ever think at all. Cynical even in death- I blame the media. The deafening rush of air muted the world below, now and ever since.
Pavement again, hot under my feet. So many windows: hundreds, thousands perhaps, each with its own version of the blistering sun.
Monday, August 6, 2007
Payday
Usually I wake up at 7am, but today is my day off, so here I am at 9am staring at the ceiling. All of those fools would be settled in to their cubicles by now, pushing paper and processing meaningless crap. God, I hate those people. Then it dawned on me: not only was it my day off, it was payday too.
I rolled out of bed and fired up the desktop while I brushed my teeth. "Almost 30 and aging gracefully," I thought to myself; far from muscular, but showing promise. I can't stand the people at the gym, so I bought myself a BowFlex.
I sat down at the computer and checked my bank account, paid a few bills, and checked my email. Several of my credit cards are maxed out. The fees are twice as much as the minimum payments. How is that legal? Bastards. Oh well, I can just skip a cell payment to make up the difference.
I shut the computer down and flicked on my new plasma TV. I ordered satellite TV, but until it arrived, I was stuck watching the same 100 cable channels. Channel surfing was starting to make my thumb numb when my cell phone chimed to life. My ring tones are always the best; I won my current tone,In Da Club, by 50Cent, from a Pepsi bottle cap. The person had the wrong number and I hung up. Damn people, stop wasting my anytime minutes! I texted my friend and asked him if we were drinking tonight. Last weekend was amazing, not that I can remember most of it, but I got a bunch of sweet pics to post on myspace.
No food in the apartment, so I hopped in my car, a brand new VW Rabbit that my parents cosigned for. My monthly payments are nearly half my income, but I love my car and it came with a great warranty. I called the movie theater on my way to the store and listened to the choices. Nothing good was playing. I stopped at an ATM and withdrew the rest of my paycheck. "Probably enough for a bag," I thought. Some guy fucking cut me off in traffic. I flipped him off and threatened to kill him, but when he pulled over I decided to keep going- fucking moron.
I can't believe the price of gas. I paid at the pump with one of my credit cards and burned a strip of rubber when I left. I got cut off again on the turnpike. It's like people only think about themselves. I tossed my change into the exact-change booth and sped up to the guy and tailgated him for awhile. Dick. Once in town, I bought some snacks and paid at one of the new self checkouts. It was so much faster than waiting for those retards to ring up everything. I bought a few lottery tickets from a vending machine on my way out the door, but I didn't win anything.
I decided to go home to eat lunch and find some good competition on X-box live, or at least some pathetic losers to pick on. I made one more stop before home to get a pack of cigarettes. The clerk checked my ID. I'm obviously over 18. What an asshole. I quickly slid my debit card, punched in my pin, and left without taking my receipt. "Have a nice day?" Fuck you.
Back at home, I fired up the X-box and quickly checked my myspace messages. One of my other friends had already scored some pot, thank God. I don't think I could make it through this weekend without any. I went to youtube and checked my videos. I get hundreds of views and dozens of subscribers everyday. Some loser, Kevin JD Kismet, tried to post a stupid comment on one of my videos the other day and he totally got owned, because I didn't approve his comment. He wrote this long message that I didn't even read. What a loser.
I rolled out of bed and fired up the desktop while I brushed my teeth. "Almost 30 and aging gracefully," I thought to myself; far from muscular, but showing promise. I can't stand the people at the gym, so I bought myself a BowFlex.
I sat down at the computer and checked my bank account, paid a few bills, and checked my email. Several of my credit cards are maxed out. The fees are twice as much as the minimum payments. How is that legal? Bastards. Oh well, I can just skip a cell payment to make up the difference.
I shut the computer down and flicked on my new plasma TV. I ordered satellite TV, but until it arrived, I was stuck watching the same 100 cable channels. Channel surfing was starting to make my thumb numb when my cell phone chimed to life. My ring tones are always the best; I won my current tone,In Da Club, by 50Cent, from a Pepsi bottle cap. The person had the wrong number and I hung up. Damn people, stop wasting my anytime minutes! I texted my friend and asked him if we were drinking tonight. Last weekend was amazing, not that I can remember most of it, but I got a bunch of sweet pics to post on myspace.
No food in the apartment, so I hopped in my car, a brand new VW Rabbit that my parents cosigned for. My monthly payments are nearly half my income, but I love my car and it came with a great warranty. I called the movie theater on my way to the store and listened to the choices. Nothing good was playing. I stopped at an ATM and withdrew the rest of my paycheck. "Probably enough for a bag," I thought. Some guy fucking cut me off in traffic. I flipped him off and threatened to kill him, but when he pulled over I decided to keep going- fucking moron.
I can't believe the price of gas. I paid at the pump with one of my credit cards and burned a strip of rubber when I left. I got cut off again on the turnpike. It's like people only think about themselves. I tossed my change into the exact-change booth and sped up to the guy and tailgated him for awhile. Dick. Once in town, I bought some snacks and paid at one of the new self checkouts. It was so much faster than waiting for those retards to ring up everything. I bought a few lottery tickets from a vending machine on my way out the door, but I didn't win anything.
I decided to go home to eat lunch and find some good competition on X-box live, or at least some pathetic losers to pick on. I made one more stop before home to get a pack of cigarettes. The clerk checked my ID. I'm obviously over 18. What an asshole. I quickly slid my debit card, punched in my pin, and left without taking my receipt. "Have a nice day?" Fuck you.
Back at home, I fired up the X-box and quickly checked my myspace messages. One of my other friends had already scored some pot, thank God. I don't think I could make it through this weekend without any. I went to youtube and checked my videos. I get hundreds of views and dozens of subscribers everyday. Some loser, Kevin JD Kismet, tried to post a stupid comment on one of my videos the other day and he totally got owned, because I didn't approve his comment. He wrote this long message that I didn't even read. What a loser.
Ninja Nightmare
Don't you hate it when people try to explain their dreams? Like you care right? Well tough shit. Here I go.
My dream: I was in high school, but I was the age I am now, I wasn't young again. I was outside walking around the school building. It was summer time. There was a group of people sitting at a table outside next to the building. My wife (who I actually did go to high school with), my friend from work, and his little sister (17 years old in real life, but was more like 13 in my dream, and I've never met her) sat at the table. They kept teasing me because I couldn't beat some sort of video game. They were saying things like, "You can't figure out how to power-up on the 34th level, what a loser," and stuff like that (I don't even play video games very much). I got really pissed and stormed off, walked around the corner of the building, and started playing a video game. I'd get to a part in the game where I didn't know what to do and I'd go ask them for help, only to get ridiculed again.
That was the first part of the dream. The next part's better, or worse, depending on how you want to look at it.
All of a sudden (classic dream descriptor) I was sitting at a round, orange, lunch table in the middle of the hallway at school. Three other people sat with me. To my left sat a thin Asian man. He was an older man, but obviously not someone to mess with. To his left there was a young Asian woman crouched on her seat. She crouched, completely motionless, holding two katanas crossed in front of her. A Somalian woman in her mid-twenties sat to my right. I was eating Twizzlers. The Somalian woman started to yell angrily in her native tongue at no one in particular. The yelling went on for a while and then out stepped my Home Economics teacher from my freshman year of high school. She started yelling back at the Somalian women, in Somali. The young women got up and went in a room with my old teacher. I continued to eat my Twizzlers.
The Asian man seemed friendly and we talked a little bit. I remarked to the crouching woman with the swords, "Ya know, you don't have to sit like that." Just then, my wife walked up and stood just behind her. Before my wife could say anything, the Asian woman turned quickly and slit my wife's stomach open. Blood began to pour out and she looked shocked. I jumped up on the table and began to violently whip the Asian woman across the face with Twizzlers. The Asian man quietly stated, "That's not a good idea." The Asian woman had a completely flat affect the entire time. She took her two swords and expertly intertwined her blades with my wrists. She paused a moment with my wrists trapped in her blades, and then with one swipe she pulled the swords away, instantly slitting both my wrists down to the bone.
My dream: I was in high school, but I was the age I am now, I wasn't young again. I was outside walking around the school building. It was summer time. There was a group of people sitting at a table outside next to the building. My wife (who I actually did go to high school with), my friend from work, and his little sister (17 years old in real life, but was more like 13 in my dream, and I've never met her) sat at the table. They kept teasing me because I couldn't beat some sort of video game. They were saying things like, "You can't figure out how to power-up on the 34th level, what a loser," and stuff like that (I don't even play video games very much). I got really pissed and stormed off, walked around the corner of the building, and started playing a video game. I'd get to a part in the game where I didn't know what to do and I'd go ask them for help, only to get ridiculed again.
That was the first part of the dream. The next part's better, or worse, depending on how you want to look at it.
All of a sudden (classic dream descriptor) I was sitting at a round, orange, lunch table in the middle of the hallway at school. Three other people sat with me. To my left sat a thin Asian man. He was an older man, but obviously not someone to mess with. To his left there was a young Asian woman crouched on her seat. She crouched, completely motionless, holding two katanas crossed in front of her. A Somalian woman in her mid-twenties sat to my right. I was eating Twizzlers. The Somalian woman started to yell angrily in her native tongue at no one in particular. The yelling went on for a while and then out stepped my Home Economics teacher from my freshman year of high school. She started yelling back at the Somalian women, in Somali. The young women got up and went in a room with my old teacher. I continued to eat my Twizzlers.
The Asian man seemed friendly and we talked a little bit. I remarked to the crouching woman with the swords, "Ya know, you don't have to sit like that." Just then, my wife walked up and stood just behind her. Before my wife could say anything, the Asian woman turned quickly and slit my wife's stomach open. Blood began to pour out and she looked shocked. I jumped up on the table and began to violently whip the Asian woman across the face with Twizzlers. The Asian man quietly stated, "That's not a good idea." The Asian woman had a completely flat affect the entire time. She took her two swords and expertly intertwined her blades with my wrists. She paused a moment with my wrists trapped in her blades, and then with one swipe she pulled the swords away, instantly slitting both my wrists down to the bone.
Five Steps
There were only five steps left. Had I only taken the time to double check my books or not stopped to talk with the professor, I wouldn't be here. No time for anger I suppose. Anger seems silly now. It all seemed silly now. I had fallen hard and twisted my arm in an unnatural angle. Gun shots continued to ring in the air with violence, further away now with no more clout than a cap-gun. Shock rendered me numb, thankfully. Judging from the intense thrust I'd received, added to my fall, I should be in a considerable amount of pain. I never imagined myself as a gunshot victim wishing for more pain, but life is like that sometimes. My view was less than spectacular, a close-up of cold stone and a chewed piece of gum. "I want to see the sky," I prayed out loud. "Just one more time, I want to see the sky." I aimlessly moved my arm around in a vain attempt to summon help. My arm tired quickly. Blood pooled around my face and a shiver rolled though me. The last drops of adrenaline rushed though my system and darkness followed. I pictured the old stone staircase. I had heard the shots behind me and bolted up the stairs. Five more steps and I probably would have been safe. There were only five steps left.
In my mind Vol. 1
You walked into my home wearing a long black coat and bright white smile. With a monkey on my lap and a bag of chips, I didn't know what to say. I improvised. Luckily speling doesn't mater I thought.
"Do evil things," you whispered.
I was stuck in third gear, but then again, if third gear is all you have, I guess you're not really stuck. The sky was an odd shade of green and the children were gone. Should I play dead or run for my life?
"You chose poorly," was all you could say; encroaching. Yes, you heard me right.
Ripping a hole and throwing it all away again, the trees bowed down and the earth shook apprehensively. I wouldn't be afraid of the dark if I were blind. I closed my eyes and peered at the world I'd left behind. Quite the view.
"Where are you taking me?"
Beasts of various statures populated the once desolated landscape. Some wore masks. Some stood firm. Others ran from me. I attempted to read your expression, but was distracted by the spectacle evolving in the distance. Something was approaching. Slowly and steadily it traversed the hills and valleys, disappearing, reemerging, closer and closer. Metronomes couldn't have kept better time.
"This is for you," you spoke sharply. My body ached vehemently. "Understanding is not the most important facet of wisdom. Prove nothing and live better. Do not try to explain what you have seen. They will not believe you. Go now, and take what I have given you."
The way is long and difficult, but in the pain there is joy and righteousness. When and where? Eat it, don't eat it. Kill or be killed. Believe almost nothing and create your own plain. Invitations go unanswered. This is the way it must be.
Years had passed, yet there we stood. Back home again. The monkey bit me and I shoved it from my lap. To this day, the floor bears his mark.
"Someday you will suffer for what you have shown me," I said.
Your smile faded. Fingers to fangs and eyes to pearls, your coat burned bright white. My hand protected my face but not my heart. Windows rattled in their sashes as you spoke one last time. You knew the words could never be written. I remember every syllable.
Alone, yet never alone, I collapsed to the floor. The smell of countless dead lingered offensively. Again I saw the hills and valleys. Again I witnessed the beasts. Now, however, they all stood silently, naked in the heated field. The thing that had approached with such ferocity before was only a child now, my child. He greeted me with a smile and I returned the gesture.
"Do evil things," you whispered.
I was stuck in third gear, but then again, if third gear is all you have, I guess you're not really stuck. The sky was an odd shade of green and the children were gone. Should I play dead or run for my life?
"You chose poorly," was all you could say; encroaching. Yes, you heard me right.
Ripping a hole and throwing it all away again, the trees bowed down and the earth shook apprehensively. I wouldn't be afraid of the dark if I were blind. I closed my eyes and peered at the world I'd left behind. Quite the view.
"Where are you taking me?"
Beasts of various statures populated the once desolated landscape. Some wore masks. Some stood firm. Others ran from me. I attempted to read your expression, but was distracted by the spectacle evolving in the distance. Something was approaching. Slowly and steadily it traversed the hills and valleys, disappearing, reemerging, closer and closer. Metronomes couldn't have kept better time.
"This is for you," you spoke sharply. My body ached vehemently. "Understanding is not the most important facet of wisdom. Prove nothing and live better. Do not try to explain what you have seen. They will not believe you. Go now, and take what I have given you."
The way is long and difficult, but in the pain there is joy and righteousness. When and where? Eat it, don't eat it. Kill or be killed. Believe almost nothing and create your own plain. Invitations go unanswered. This is the way it must be.
Years had passed, yet there we stood. Back home again. The monkey bit me and I shoved it from my lap. To this day, the floor bears his mark.
"Someday you will suffer for what you have shown me," I said.
Your smile faded. Fingers to fangs and eyes to pearls, your coat burned bright white. My hand protected my face but not my heart. Windows rattled in their sashes as you spoke one last time. You knew the words could never be written. I remember every syllable.
Alone, yet never alone, I collapsed to the floor. The smell of countless dead lingered offensively. Again I saw the hills and valleys. Again I witnessed the beasts. Now, however, they all stood silently, naked in the heated field. The thing that had approached with such ferocity before was only a child now, my child. He greeted me with a smile and I returned the gesture.
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