Ninja Nightmare

     Don't you hate it when people try to explain their dreams? Like you care right? Well tough shit. Here I go.


    My dream: I was in high school, but I was the age I am now, I wasn't young again. I was outside walking around the school building. It was summer time. There was a group of people sitting at a table outside next to the building. My wife (who I actually did go to high school with), my friend from work, and his little sister (17 years old in real life, but was more like 13 in my dream, and I've never met her) sat at the table. They kept teasing me because I couldn't beat some sort of video game. They were saying things like, "You can't figure out how to power-up on the 34th level, what a loser," and stuff like that (I don't even play video games very much). I got really pissed and stormed off, walked around the corner of the building, and started playing a video game. I'd get to a part in the game where I didn't know what to do and I'd go ask them for help, only to get ridiculed again.
    That was the first part of the dream. The next part's better, or worse, depending on how you want to look at it.
     All of a sudden (classic dream descriptor) I was sitting at a round, orange, lunch table in the middle of the hallway at school. Three other people sat with me. To my left sat a thin Asian man. He was an older man, but obviously not someone to mess with. To his left there was a young Asian woman crouched on her seat. She crouched, completely motionless, holding two katanas crossed in front of her. A Somalian woman in her mid-twenties sat to my right. I was eating Twizzlers. The Somalian woman started to yell angrily in her native tongue at no one in particular. The yelling went on for a while and then out stepped my Home Economics teacher from my freshman year of high school. She started yelling back at the Somalian women, in Somali. The young women got up and went in a room with my old teacher. I continued to eat my Twizzlers.
    The Asian man seemed friendly and we talked a little bit. I remarked to the crouching woman with the swords, "Ya know, you don't have to sit like that." Just then, my wife walked up and stood just behind her. Before my wife could say anything, the Asian woman turned quickly and slit my wife's stomach open. Blood began to pour out and she looked shocked. I jumped up on the table and began to violently whip the Asian woman across the face with Twizzlers. The Asian man quietly stated, "That's not a good idea." The Asian woman had a completely flat affect the entire time. She took her two swords and expertly intertwined her blades with my wrists. She paused a moment with my wrists trapped in her blades, and then with one swipe she pulled the swords away, instantly slitting both my wrists down to the bone.