Payday

    Usually I wake up at 7am, but today is my day off, so here I am at 9am staring at the ceiling. All of those fools would be settled in to their cubicles by now, pushing paper and processing meaningless crap. God, I hate those people. Then it dawned on me: not only was it my day off, it was payday too.
    I rolled out of bed and fired up the desktop while I brushed my teeth. "Almost 30 and aging gracefully," I thought to myself; far from muscular, but showing promise. I can't stand the people at the gym, so I bought myself a BowFlex.
    I sat down at the computer and checked my bank account, paid a few bills, and checked my email. Several of my credit cards are maxed out. The fees are twice as much as the minimum payments. How is that legal? Bastards. Oh well, I can just skip a cell payment to make up the difference.
    I shut the computer down and flicked on my new plasma TV. I ordered satellite TV, but until it arrived, I was stuck watching the same 100 cable channels. Channel surfing was starting to make my thumb numb when my cell phone chimed to life. My ring tones are always the best; I won my current tone,In Da Club, by 50Cent, from a Pepsi bottle cap. The person had the wrong number and I hung up. Damn people, stop wasting my anytime minutes! I texted my friend and asked him if we were drinking tonight. Last weekend was amazing, not that I can remember most of it, but I got a bunch of sweet pics to post on myspace.
    No food in the apartment, so I hopped in my car, a brand new VW Rabbit that my parents cosigned for. My monthly payments are nearly half my income, but I love my car and it came with a great warranty. I called the movie theater on my way to the store and listened to the choices. Nothing good was playing. I stopped at an ATM and withdrew the rest of my paycheck. "Probably enough for a bag," I thought. Some guy fucking cut me off in traffic. I flipped him off and threatened to kill him, but when he pulled over I decided to keep going- fucking moron.
    I can't believe the price of gas. I paid at the pump with one of my credit cards and burned a strip of rubber when I left. I got cut off again on the turnpike. It's like people only think about themselves. I tossed my change into the exact-change booth and sped up to the guy and tailgated him for awhile. Dick. Once in town, I bought some snacks and paid at one of the new self checkouts. It was so much faster than waiting for those retards to ring up everything. I bought a few lottery tickets from a vending machine on my way out the door, but I didn't win anything.
    I decided to go home to eat lunch and find some good competition on X-box live, or at least some pathetic losers to pick on. I made one more stop before home to get a pack of cigarettes. The clerk checked my ID. I'm obviously over 18. What an asshole. I quickly slid my debit card, punched in my pin, and left without taking my receipt. "Have a nice day?" Fuck you.
    Back at home, I fired up the X-box and quickly checked my myspace messages. One of my other friends had already scored some pot, thank God. I don't think I could make it through this weekend without any. I went to youtube and checked my videos. I get hundreds of views and dozens of subscribers everyday. Some loser, Kevin JD Kismet, tried to post a stupid comment on one of my videos the other day and he totally got owned, because I didn't approve his comment. He wrote this long message that I didn't even read. What a loser.